Future parents!

Dear readers, I'd like to share our story with you, our experience and everything that came with it. It was incredibly hard to put this into words, because so many emotions and so much grief come back up... My husband and I have been married since 2013, and we decided right away that we didn't want kids for the first few years, so we could enjoy our marriage, being together, and getting everything settled.

We visited so many beautiful countries and built up so many wonderful experiences. All the couples around us already had a baby or were expecting one, and we thought, oh no, is it too early for us. In the meantime we'd bought two houses together and built our careers, we were incredibly happy together.

In 2018 I got my diploma, I was 29 at the time, and that's when the feelings of wanting to get pregnant too came up, and together we decided to try for a family. I'd already heard from people around me that it doesn't just happen overnight and that we'd need patience, and we certainly had that, for almost a year... then we thought, this isn't really okay, is it? We decided to go to our GP, and action was taken right away, my husband's sperm was checked and my fallopian tubes were flushed. No, no cause found, said the GP, we had to just keep trying for half a year, which we did, and pretty soon we'd already been trying for 1.5 years without result. We were referred to a fertility doctor, and we could start with IUI right away, we did this 6 times (another 6 months further), by now we were really starting to worry, and in the meantime, at check-ups, they found cysts on my right side, and a few weeks later, endometriosis.

Honestly, not much attention was really paid to this, because there were also women who got pregnant with the same problem. We had the conversation about IVF, they were incredibly hard, heavy, dark days, there wasn't a single day I wasn't crying. How could this happen to us? Would IVF even work? All our confidence was gone... I also felt like just a number in the hospital, I saw many different doctors because of staff shortages, I didn't feel any personal connection with anyone. The only person who understood and felt for me was my partner.

I could start with IVF, I got information and could pick up medication. The first egg retrieval took place after two weeks, and then I thought, okay, this is it! Now it's going to happen. On the right side they didn't retrieve anything because of the cysts, everything was taken from the left side, and unfortunately I only had 7 eggs. Of which 3 fertilized, 3 days later we went back for the transfer. We waited two weeks full of tension... in the meantime we got a letter at home saying the 2 remaining embryos hadn't survived... and then you secretly start thinking, why would this one have survived in me?

Test day... very clearly NOT PREGNANT... your courage just sinks through the floor... how can this be? So much pain, so much effort, and not pregnant, and there's nothing left in the freezer either??? We immediately requested a conversation with the fertility doctor, and they told us that maybe we shouldn't go straight into the second IVF attempt but should take a Lucrin injection for 3 months so my period and cycle would pause, keeping the endometriosis calm. We did this, for 3 months nothing happened, the world stood still. After 3 months we had a conversation and could start with the second IVF, the retrieval was incredibly painful, and again 6 eggs, of which 3 fertilized, 1 was transferred and 2 went into the freezer. This time I secretly had hope because I'd had the Lucrin injection, I thought maybe that had helped. After the transfer, 2 weeks of sleepless nights full of tension... test day, it was NEGATIVE AGAIN... all hope and courage drain away. I had no confidence in it anymore. I immediately called the doctor and got a follow-up appointment, I had to rest for a month and then we could only transfer the frozen embryos, thankfully I no longer needed injections or retrievals. After a month I could start on medication I had to take, and a week later we had an appointment scheduled for the Cryo transfer, at the hospital we immediately got the bad news that the first cryo hadn't survived and they'd thawed the second one, which was still okay, and that one was transferred. Honestly, this time I had absolutely no confidence or feeling that it would work either... If nothing survives here, if nothing works, why would this cryo do it?

Two weeks of waiting again, the result was as usual negative, I'm not pregnant, and for now maybe I'll never get pregnant... it's incredibly hard to put those heavy days into words... maybe it's just not meant for us?

After a few weeks we gathered our courage and made another appointment with our doctor. She told us we could start the 3rd IVF attempt, also the last one, but I'd first have to take the Lucrin injection again for 3 months so everything would be paused and they could take full control for a good IVF attempt, I couldn't believe what I was hearing, I could only cry, another three months? I really can't handle this mentally??? Why? Once we got home I was really doing badly, I couldn't cope with it all anymore... and then having to wait that long again without result? My sister came by and was just as sad as we were, she hugged me and said you have to get through this and we'll do it together, we have no choice, just do it, and we'll forget those three months really fast, we'll do fun things and keep busy, these dark three months will fly by.

In the meantime my sister had called her friend who is of Turkish descent, she'd told her everything about me and how hopeless we really were. Her friend had gone through exactly the same thing, and ended up in Turkey with Human First with a good result, because she now has two children.

My sister got Evren's contact details, and reached out to Evren herself, telling her briefly about us. My sister was immediately enthusiastic and came to see us, she said she had good news! We could be helped right away and do our third round in Istanbul, without any waiting time and without a Lucrin injection to wait another three months. The first thing my husband and I said to each other was: we're not going abroad to Turkey to do this, it's way too far for us, way too complicated, no, we immediately told my sister, we're not doing this. My sister kept insisting that we should at least read their site and give ourselves time to process it. That evening I went to read the Human First site, I got so deep into it that it was already 1:30 am, I read everything about how the process works, about the doctors, and especially the experiences of couples who'd been through the same thing as us... I really pictured us going to Turkey!! The next morning I talked to my partner and told him everything I'd read and that I still had my doubts about doing this... my partner said we should just contact Evren ourselves and discuss everything. That same day I called Evren, and I got the sweetest, most understanding, gentle woman on the phone. After hours on the phone with her, our doubt immediately changed into WE HAVE TO DO THIS!!, we actually started arranging everything right away, submitting documents, blood tests, etc. Evren helped us so well with this, any time we had questions we could call her, she was always available by phone no matter what time it was.

We chose the 10-day program because we were already familiar with the injections and the process. We started stimulation in the Netherlands, and after a week we could book our flight and hotel to Turkey! Now it was really starting, we were both incredibly positive and this time we really felt up for it! Sounds strange and different, because here in the Netherlands we were so down and depressed, and the whole process weighed on us every time. We'd decided we would enjoy our trip to Istanbul and ultimately aim to come back pregnant. Once we arrived in Istanbul, a conversation with dr. Cem was already scheduled for day one. We were looking forward to meeting the doctor.

First day at the hospital, staff at the fertility department were super sweet... everyone showed interest and talked with us... well, that kind of personal attention and conversation, I'd never had that in the Netherlands. Dr. Cem called us into the consultation room, we didn't need an interpreter because he spoke excellent English. He knew everything about our history and could immediately talk about everything we'd been through, he was especially interested in the cysts I had on the right side... he asked why nothing had ever been done about that? Well, we couldn't answer that question, because cysts combined with endometriosis can reduce your fertility or make you infertile. He wanted to check how big the cysts and the endometriosis were, the ultrasound was done in a very neat, hygienic way. Dr. Cem said right away, you need help with the cyst on the right ovary. Certain substances that are released can prevent embryos from surviving in the womb. But we're continuing with the process now since we'd already started stimulation and I already had a number of growing eggs. Once back at the hotel we were a bit angry but also shaken that in the Netherlands no attention had been paid to what the actual problem was. But anyway, we continued because we wanted to finish this in Turkey, and hopefully leave pregnant. After 2 days we had another check-up at the hospital. In the meantime we had a lot of phone contact with Evren, she knew everything that was going on, and gave us lots of tips on beautiful places we could visit in Istanbul. The second check-up was to see how big the eggs had grown, at the hospital we were again received nicely, very sweet nurses, we felt at home and in good hands right away. Dr. Cem did the ultrasound, and said the retrieval would happen in 2 days, this was done by Dr. Bilge because dr Cem had to go abroad for a conference. This was good news and full of tension about how it would go. In the Netherlands the retrieval was painful and unpleasant. This one was done under anesthesia.

For two days we enjoyed beautiful Istanbul, ate wonderfully and did some nice shopping.

The day of the retrieval, what a beautiful, emotional moment that was, we were brought to a very neat, clean room that was just for us, we were helped right away, first we met Dr. Bilge, what a sweet, kind doctor, she spoke very good English, and put me at ease, she explained step by step what they were going to do and then I was put fully under anesthesia. After 15 minutes I woke up and she said it went really well, they'd retrieved 7 eggs, wonderful news and I didn't feel anything at all. I was brought back to my room and we had a lovely, luxurious breakfast together. After an hour we were allowed to go home. A day later we got a call that 4 embryos had developed, on the third day two would be transferred, we'd chosen this ourselves to increase our chances. On the third day we had to go back for the transfer, and after the transfer we also had our flight that same afternoon. The transfer went perfectly, dr. Bilge was there again and she was very pleased with the quality of the embryos. After the transfer all the nurses gathered around me and congratulated me... I thought, really? Why? Yes, because it had all gone well and they were confident I'd become a mom, I was so incredibly emotional, Dr. Bilge held me, hugged me, and said she wants to see us again with our little one or ones. Then I got incredible hope and confidence back... I felt that this was going to work out. Leaving the hospital was difficult, saying goodbye to everyone, they waved us off...

Back in the Netherlands, full of tension, our thoughts were still in Istanbul, we couldn't stop talking about what a wonderful experience it had been... and what sweet people there are who really feel and understand and share in what you're going through...

This time we decided not to do a home test but a blood test, different from the times before.

On the day we had to test I gave blood and we'd be called the next day with the result... something inside us said it was going to be fine, we were very positive and not as nervous as the previous times. It's the day of the result, at 8:30 the GP calls us and the first thing she says is CONGRATULATIONS ma'am, you are absolutely pregnant... your HCG hormone is super high... we couldn't believe what we were hearing and just cried. We're simply pregnant...

We just managed it because we believed 100 percent in Human First...

We called Evren first, and she was sooo happy for us... you could hear her joy through the phone.

After 2 weeks we had an early ultrasound and yes, the little heart is beating!!! Our happiness and joy couldn't have been bigger... there were two little hearts beating, but we had to wait until week 9/10 to see if they'd both actually survive... we had hope, and our hope was that even if only 1 made it, having two would just be the jackpot, after 2 weeks with the ultrasound it turned out that indeed 1 hadn't survived, not nice and sad... but we were going for 1 healthy, good baby so we shouldn't grieve, and we're still super happy with our little one!!! We're now 6 months pregnant with our little prince who will be born in 2023!!!

Everyone who reads our story and has gone through similar grief and difficult, hard times... please don't hesitate and don't doubt reaching out to Human First…. This is the right path to happiness!!! Without Human First and without Evren we would have gotten nowhere... our dark days were turned by Human First into happy, joyful days, we'll be grateful to Human First our whole lives!!

This story was translated from Dutch by our team. Read the original Dutch version →