A Familiar Feeling (December 2016)

My husband and I have been together for about twelve years now, and after we got married in 2013 we were serious about having children. Because I've always been anxious about hospitals, clinics, needles and exams, it ended up taking two years before I admitted to myself that I really did need a diagnostic laparoscopy to find out why I just wasn't getting pregnant. By then I was already 37 and didn't want to keep dragging things out too long either.

Because I was curious about IVF, I did some browsing online and naturally ended up on the Human First IVF site. I found the site very clear, and I watched the information video (in Turkish) about how things work. In the video, Dr. Cem, the head physician, was speaking. The moment I saw him, I knew: "I know you." However strange that sounds. I immediately had a sense of trust about it. And that's coming from someone who's terrified of anything hospital-related!

By some good luck I was operated on in the Netherlands just six weeks after registering — an operation that normally had a five-month waiting list. The diagnosis after the operation was some adhesions and endometriosis (uterine lining tissue found outside the uterus instead of inside, a common problem that can make pregnancy more difficult). Both were treated during the operation. One of my fallopian tubes also seemed slightly blocked, but that wouldn't be a major issue for a natural pregnancy. With one working tube I still had an easy 80% chance of a natural pregnancy. So I was actually in fine shape, and we decided to give ourselves another six months to get pregnant naturally, and if not, we'd travel to Turkey in December.

IVF in the Netherlands was not an option for us, even though it would have been our first time. We didn't like the horror stories about the painful retrieval (removing the follicles that were grown) and the endless waiting times. Besides, I believe that in 2017, with all the developments and knowledge we have, women shouldn't have to suffer pain at all. Fortunately this is a view shared (almost everywhere) abroad. Only in the Netherlands do you get little pain relief and have less control over your own body and process, being more at the mercy of all the rules people have thought up for you there. On top of that, doctors in Turkey perform procedures during the IVF process that aren't standard here in the Netherlands (or aren't reimbursed). I believe they do more in Turkey to bring about a pregnancy than doctors in the Netherlands, who only really start applying techniques to boost success after yet another (painful) IVF attempt.

In the meantime I happened to speak to my 40-year-old Turkish friend living in Istanbul, who had also tried for two years to get pregnant and decided to go to a hospital on the European side of Istanbul for IVF. She got a healthy set of twins after the first attempt. I also spoke to an acquaintance in the Netherlands who had also been helped through Human First, on the Asian side of Istanbul, and she was pregnant with a healthy son after the first time — whereas in the Netherlands they'd only been given a 20% chance of pregnancy. The signs pointing toward Istanbul (in my case, to Dr. Cem on the Asian side of Istanbul) kept getting clearer.

I called the number listed on the Human First IVF website in Rotterdam. A few days later I got a call back. Because we wanted to start as soon as possible, the friendly woman told me that was possible from the first day of my period. That was two weeks later. Nice and fast! I sent in my medical file so the doctors in Turkey could put together a treatment plan. We chose to spend one week in Turkey and inject hormones the first week in the Netherlands.

Because the hormones had been prescribed by a Turkish doctor, the hospital pharmacy initially wouldn't give them to me. The woman tipped me off that if my Dutch GP wrote the prescription, I'd get them without issue. Since my doctor knew about the whole process, he wrote out the prescription right then and faxed it to the hospital. That way I got everything. I did have to pay upfront and could claim it back from my insurance later. So make sure you have the prescription written in Dutch right away.

Six days of small injections later, and two ultrasounds in the Netherlands (with a gynecologist the clinic works with) to count and measure the follicles, we left for Istanbul, where we were met by the driver who would take us to every hospital appointment that week. We stayed at a great hotel, and the next morning we were picked up by the driver and the Dutch hostess there, who had lived in Istanbul for years, for our first visit to Dr. Cem.

Dr. Cem reviewed our file again and we went over the procedure. He checked the follicles with an internal ultrasound, which, just like the retrieval and transfer, was done very discreetly. As a woman, you're prepared for an ultrasound or retrieval only by female staff who cover and drape everything that doesn't need to be exposed, so you don't feel so uncomfortable. You're already so vulnerable lying there. Also, unlike in the Netherlands, no assistant doctors or students ever come to observe. There it seems like every passerby gets to have a look between your legs to learn something. I don't care for that. Anyway, you'll find that in Istanbul you're treated with total respect by immensely friendly staff.

Two days later the retrieval took place, of course under general anesthesia. That morning you drink plenty of water beforehand so you have a full bladder, which helps the doctor clearly see all the eggs that need to be retrieved. I came into the room where I was helped and covered where needed by four friendly women. Dr. Cem came in last. The Dutch hostess was there to translate and offer support if needed. Your husband isn't present for this — he waits in the hallway and has to hand in his sample there. I was given a mask over my mouth and nose, and before I knew it I was asleep. I think I woke up about half an hour later, and you feel some period-like cramping, for which you get pain relief. So that was over within a few minutes. Three days later, two embryos were strong enough for transfer, so we went for it. You truly feel nothing during the transfer! It was done within a minute, and you can watch on the screen while the doctor explains what's happening. Looking back, this was perhaps the most beautiful moment. You see a little black spot in your uterus suddenly turn white! As if a light switches on. That's the life the doctor is placing inside you. Amazing! Afterwards you settle the payment and can go back to the hotel, and if you want, you can even fly straight home. We stayed one more calm night and flew back to the Netherlands the next day.

I've tried to type up a short version for anyone considering traveling to Istanbul. I can only tell you what the people I spoke to before going told me too: "Let go of all your fears and just go! It's nowhere near as bad as you think, and before you know it you're pregnant!" We left for Istanbul on December 11, 2016, and I took a positive pregnancy test on December 30th. In just a few weeks we accomplished what in the Netherlands might take months or even years — and in complete comfort too. Depending on the medical complications you have, the price for all of this is actually quite reasonable! And for anyone afraid of hospitals, I'll close with this: "I would do it again in a heartbeat, without blinking!"

Lots of luck!

Mother of a very much wanted daughter

This story was translated from Dutch by our team. Read the original Dutch version →