After years of complaints around my period and many visits to the doctor, I found out in November 2017 that I have endometriosis. They discovered it because I had a cyst of almost 8 cm that needed to be removed urgently. During the surgery they found out I had endometriosis. Finally a diagnosis, but also huge uncertainty about whether I could have children at all. My husband and I had already been trying for over six months by then. Eventually, only in 2019, we went to the clinic in Hengelo. That's where we started with IVF. After hearing lots of negative stories, we still wanted to take our own gamble. Unfortunately we can also say that we came out of that with a very negative experience. In and out of the hospital, overstimulation, being treated like just a number, rude staff. It's already an emotional process, and all of this on top of it didn't make it any easier.
My best friend was in an ICSI process at the same time as me, and after hearing good stories decided to go to Turkey. She got pregnant there with twins, who are now 2 years old and super healthy!
By the time we were at Hengelo, her children had already been born, and she wondered why on earth I was still going to Hengelo. Looking back, I didn't understand it myself either. After 2 failed attempts, we also took the step to go to Turkey. We found this so incredibly nerve-wracking. A country we didn't know, and on top of that going there for such a heavy process.
And….. it turned out to be the best choice we've ever made in our lives! From step 1 we were helped wonderfully by Evren, what an amazing, spontaneous woman she is. I was so unsure that I had like 100 questions. But without any trouble, I was helped with so much enthusiasm and reassured. That was our first step, everything was arranged down to the last detail. The medical part, flight tickets, etc. Just this alone already felt good. Being able to leave without worries.
Once we arrived in Turkey, everything went well from moment 1. We were picked up in a luxury taxi, arrived at a beautiful hotel and settled in. The next day we'd be picked up by our host. This was exciting too, meeting a new person who would support us through the whole process. Once we were waiting in the lobby, there she came. We call her our Hatice now. Besides being our host, she's also become our friend. A woman with such a beautiful, warm personality. She supported us enormously throughout this whole process. She always showed up with a smile. Well, when you have such a positive person next to you, you sometimes forget what you're there for: "the process"
Because yes, that's what I was writing about... because then we went to the hospital for the first time. To dr CEM. The important man who was going to make all of this happen for us. At least, that's what we hoped. How would this go at the hospital?!
Well, once we arrived, I could already feel it was very different from Hengelo. I'd gotten so much more excited about it. Excited, you'd think? Because you're back on medication, etc.. so how could you be excited? Well, with such a warm team there, you can't help but feel more than positive about it. And especially after seeing dr Cem you got an extra boost. There we went, after the check-up we had the green light. Because after sending over all the medical files, it could still be that the Netherlands had overlooked something. Luckily this wasn't the case (this is mentioned before you start the process, by the way). Signing papers at the table, receiving medication from the "medicine man" (that's what we call him there) and getting explanations about everything.
We chose the 21-day trip. At every check-up you get, they immediately tell you when your next check-up is. This was so much more often than in the Netherlands. It gave you such a nice feeling, extra check-ups.. And besides that, so much free time left over. Everything went flawlessly for us. Even the injections didn't hurt in Turkey. Probably less stress, a positive environment, etc.. Then came the day of the retrieval, quite exciting. Still a bit of a moment of truth. How many follicles do you have and how many embryos are left. The retrieval, by the way, is done under anesthesia, and how wonderful is that!! Without anesthesia I really had a bad experience in the Netherlands. For us, I believe 3 embryos remained, of which 1 was transferred and unfortunately the other 2 hadn't developed properly.
After a wonderful, exciting, emotional time in Turkey, we had to go back to the Netherlands. This was hard for us, because we'd had such a beautiful time in Turkey. Only met beautiful, sweet people. And you know there's nothing more you can do. You've had a transfer and that waiting time had to be sat out in the Netherlands. Then we could test, we did a blood test and what turned out: PREGNANT!!! Wow, our dream had become reality. Something we'd fought for so long had finally arrived. And after just 1 try!!
But well, I wouldn't be me if nothing went wrong... and yeah, sure enough, something did.. a day before we had an ultrasound scheduled, bleeding and more bleeding.. and yeah I thought here we go again. Another miscarriage. Straight to the midwife and to our great surprise we saw a beating heart. Wow!! But…… yes, but… next to that beautiful beating heart there was something that wasn't supposed to be there. But what? So we had to go straight to the hospital. Eventually it turned out to be a hematoma (see Google for an explanation), this can happen to anyone. Even, yes even to healthy people. That's what I always say. This was just bad luck, had nothing to do with the process. Just my body failing again.
A hematoma can resolve on its own, but mine was so big that it could hardly have a good ending. And after holding on for 4 weeks, my body gave up after all and the baby came out along with the hematoma. What grief. I'd never gotten this far before. I completely fell apart, I couldn't take any more.. Our baby, gone! I really struggled with this, we saw Turkey as our last chance. But my strong husband picked me back up off the ground and said we gave the Netherlands 2 chances so we'll give Turkey 2 chances too. Because this wasn't Turkey's fault, this was my body's fault.
So yes, we went there for the 2nd time. This time the 10-day trip, and we'd already started the medication in the Netherlands. Oh, we were nervous again. But it also felt like coming home again and everyone still recognized us. So nice but exciting at the same time too. Dr Cem was so involved too and really felt for us that the first time had gone wrong.
Well, after enjoying the wonderful people and beautiful Istanbul so much, it was time again. The day of the retrieval! Wow.. by the time I came out of anesthesia we already had more good embryos than in the previous round. But well, then it's still waiting for the day of the transfer.
Once that day arrived, there we were in our private room at the hospital waiting for the transfer. Of course it could also be that nothing had survived. And then they came with the news. We had 4 AA++, wow what wonderful news, I got so emotional I couldn't believe it! And this was from a 5-day embryo. We were given the choice to transfer 2 embryos and that was of course our preference too! But we'd never dared to dream of this. After the transfer we ended this special day at the Sultan Ahmet mosque. We're not Muslim ourselves, but we found our peace there and thought it was a special place after a special day.
The next day we flew back to the Netherlands. And then it was waiting again.. I find it so scary and nerve-wracking. I no longer dared to do a pregnancy test, I felt like these things brought me bad luck. So I went for a blood test at the hospital instead, and had my husband call the doctor for the result. My husband was at work and I was home, and it suddenly took so long before they called. Finally they called, and it was worth the wait. We were pregnant again!!! I couldn't believe it, it felt double, I wanted to enjoy it but I was also so scared it would go wrong again.
At 5.5 weeks I had another pretty serious bleed, straight to the hospital and once there, at the ultrasound we saw 2 beating hearts!! but this felt double too, 2 beating hearts but still bleeding? Phew, it felt like it was all starting over again.. I still just didn't dare to enjoy it. I stopped working then too. And could only really start enjoying it from week 14-16. We also did a gender reveal. And we were expecting 2 boys. My pregnancy went well in the end, no complaints or strange things anymore. And I even made it all the way to 38+1 and was then induced! Everything went well and the boys had to spend 1 night in the neonatal ward. But we became parents of 2 perfectly healthy babies! They're already 4 months old now and doing really well. It's the most beautiful thing there is and our biggest dream has come true. Thanks to Human First (Evren) and the hospital in Istanbul, through Cem and his amazing team!!
We were once again welcomed with open arms by a very warm, close-knit team who know exactly what they're doing.
Proud mom and dad of 2 boys (April 2022)
This story was translated from Dutch by our team. Read the original Dutch version →
Every situation is different — but the first step is always the same. Register for free and receive a personal reply within 7 working days.